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Sunday, March 27, 2016

Tired of these.

Eversince the start of that incident, just nice I heard about it from you while I'm settling some stuff, things weren't going so well from then on.
I got used to those mini discussions and behind-the-wall talks and slowly,  I tried talking myself out of it to feel numb about these small actions. I don't care if it was meant to be discussed with all of us when the volumes turned louder or it was purposely for us to hear it. 

I got really tired of these mind games and what's worst is that, slowly, it became a norm or trend to treat me as thin air all day long.

Some time ago, I got approached to help one of the people just because she couldn't find anybody else. She was honest but it was brutal for me. Normal human beings will think that so if they were present, I won't be considered at all? To me, these small actions signifies that I'm a spare tyre, I was the last resort and I was a "no choice but to be used" being?

Oh yeah, suddenly thought of this when I was browsing through my fb, Well, remembered that people want to order the salted egg donuts through me when they knew I'm going to order it again on a Thursday? Well, I've got to know that some others bought Breadtalk Croissant and shared it among themselves without offering it to me! Kudos Josie. Thank you so much for being such a nice soul to help ordering for them and they didn't offer you one at all. Bravo Jo, really bravo. 

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Bringing up this: People never realise the way people changes are actually due to their way of treating others.

So tell me, what have I done wrong to anyone of you? Convince me that I've been nasty and pose a threat to you. And even though I acted like I don't care and doesn't make any noise, it doesn't mean that I'm alright with this type of treatment. 

I may be living in my own world, but does my world tried to kill yours? I'd believed that silence is golden and silence somehow gives solutions to all those nosy disturbances in my life. But, giving silence is different to treating someone transparent when she is physically present.

I can give my silence as an answer and still treat you with respect but just because I'm quieter doesn't mean that I'm mean or anything else.

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This blogpost may seem to be just talking about I & I & I....
Yeah, it's true. I'm talking about myself. I'm giving myself some worth self-talking space to let it all out. I'm a human being and I have feelings too.

Stop judging if you haven't get to know me.

I feel frustrated when people judge me when they didn't even try to know me.
I believe I'm not that bad a person myself.
I believe everyone is good in nature.
It's just the society that is manipulating our nature-self.
The realism, power and gains.
It distorted all of our minds, that's why it disrupts our way of thinking and how we are supposed to give it back to the world.

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& believe me that I said I wanted to be nice to everyone.
I really do.
But, I'm getting tired of being nice and being treated like air.
Non-reciprocal gestures will demotivate any human beings. 

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