Reciprocation

Anyone remember this show? Yeah. It's kinda old for youngsters but it's probably the best English Drama Series that I've ever watched. These guys were hilarious, funny, comical, sexy, sweet & lovely. And most of all, they got each other's back, no matter what happens.

I believe that treating others well & the other will treat the same to you too. But, I guess, I have to stop? I dare not say that I did many great things to my friends or am the most important ones in their life. I was barely remembered by the ones whom I gave my all, nearly forgotten by them & almost wanted to pull out from the group. I felt so unappreciated & nobody really give a damn.

Why am I always feeling so negative? Well, it's not that I wanted to. I was happy at first, making lots of excuses to think/be positive, but in the end, I can see or feel that I'm just another person that they can take advantage of. I thought by making the first move will help to start the ball rolling. Maybe that's the problem? This might be the case where people will take me for granted because I will always offer my help to solve their problem? So, should I stop being kind and helpful?

I don't understand why I could make the effort to remember what my friends wants & they could not do the same. Is it because they are not me, so I can't expect them to do the same like me? If all of my friends were like this, then, am I like an idiot who give my all yet no one f* ing care? I'm not doing any charity here, I don't give my love/care/concern to just anybody for free.

Then again, who can I trust?